Saturday 22 September, 2018

10 Bajan personalities gas station attendants meet

The gas station is a place like no other. It’s where some people fill up on gas, diesel, coolant, oil, water, food, drinks, ice and even air. But everyone doesn’t act the same at the gas station. All kinds of personalities pull in to the gas station on a daily basis.

NOTE: This is only persons coming for gas, this time.

1. First-clicker

Driver: Fill up

Attendant: *sets pump and starts*

5 minutes later

Attendant: *holds pump to manually continue*

Driver: No no no sweet girl! To de first click! You feel I mek outta money. You fuhget de fuel tax ting now?!

2. $5…tanks

Attendant: How much?

Driver: Five dawyers!

Attendant: Pardon me?

Driver: *passes a $10 bill* Jess put in 5. Tanks!

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3. Rude and clueless

Driver: Good night, $20.

Attendant: You want gas?

Driver: Wuh else I here for?

Attendant: Well your gas tank aint on that side, so my guess is advice!

(Oh wouldn’t an attendant love to say that)

4. Unclear speakers

Driver: fiddeen!

Attendant: FIF-TY?

Driver: fiddeen!

Attendant holds out hand for cash

Driver passes a $10 and $5 bill

Attendant walks off and puts in $15 while thinking: ‘Cause he feel he gine trick me and dock my pay.’

5. Impatient driver

Driver: Wait nobody don’t work here?

Attendant continues with her two customers.

Driver: This is de worse gas station ever, stupse

Attendant: Good evening, how much?

Driver: Wuh afta you tek suh long. Just gie me $10.

Attendant puts in gas.

Driver leaves in a total of less than 7 minutes

Attendant looks at other attendant and says: He did never putting in nuh more than $10! *Cackle*

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6. Indecisive

Attendant: Good night, how much?

Driver: Um… *searches purse* Gimme $30

Attendant: Windshield clean?

Driver: Umm… *looks at front and back glasses* no, I think I good.

Attendant starts running gas

Driver: *psst* Sweet girl, mek it de whole $50 and yea, do de back glass... and maybe de front too.

Attendant walks away rolling eyes

7. Phone mode

Attendant: Good night, how much? Excuse me you can’t use the cellphone in the gas station

Driver: $50

Attendant: Pull de tank… PULL DE TANK! PULL THE TANK!

Driver gets out car: You aint see me on de phone? What you say?

Attendant: Get off de phone in de gas station and pull de tank!

Driver: Oh shoot I ain remember that. *tells person on de phone* You know I here talking to you on the phone and in the gas station… Yes girl, I aint even realise… You too? *starts fresh conversation about forgetting to get off cellphones in gas stations*

8. Service station explorers

Dora The Explorer has nothing on this gas station customer who’s putting in $20 in gas and gone in the service station window shopping. Then comes out 20 minutes later and asks the attendant: Wait you put in da gas very fast? You sure you put it in?

Attendant walks to next customer in disbelief.

9. The Talker

Attendant: Good night, how much?

Driver: Waiiiit… you sweet! Wuh you name?

Attendant: How much gas do you want?

Driver: $10. But you aint gine tell me you name though?

Attendant takes cash and puts in gas

Driver having read the name tag: Ort Shakira, I gine look fuh you every time I come hay.

10. Forgetful Jones

Attendant: Good night, how much?

Driver feels for wallet: Oh geez… I aint got de wallet *pulls out coin tray and starts collecting dollars, then feels under mat* Gimme $10

Attendant takes change and goes to put in gas: Pull de tank!

Driver pulls the lever: Oh shoot, I forget you and that skippa.

Attendant finishes

Driver exits gas station and other drivers on the road start flashing lights at the man who just left the gas station.

Driver: Oh shoot! My lights. *flicks on lights*

Which one are you?