Thursday 13 December, 2018

10 Things you can’t do if you don’t pay bills in a Bajan home

Bajan parents are not the easiest and until you bring home a pay cheque and contribute to bills and food, you will be limited in what you can and cannot do freely at home.

If you doubt that, you ain’t raise up in a truly Bajan home.

Here are 10 things you better not do if you want to live comfortably and get through each day without pulling your hair out.

1. Leave on the lights

Make sure you remember to turn off lights when you leave a room and before you drop sleep at night because ‘You and Reddy Kilowatt is friends! You running up my electricity bill.’

2. Turn the TV volume up high

“Wait, you think you in de theatre! Try and turn that down, you and dat announcer massy does pay rent fuh in hey?!”

3. Stare in the refrigerator

“You feel sain gine grow in there? Stop opening de fridge all de time so. Wasting de electricity.”

4. Leave the pipe running

“Who was de last body to use de bathroom sink?!” blink blink

5. Wake up late

“You ain’t gine get up and find sain to do? You feel you living at de Weatherhead's?”

6. Raise your voice

“Sweet girl who you shouting at? You does pay a bill in hey?” Oh, don’t slip up and add a “stupse”. You might lose a couple teeth.

7. Play unedited music loudly

Especially if your parents or grandparents are religious, you better find some censored, clean versions of Popcaan, Vybz Kartel and Alkaline.

8. Go and come without telling anyone

“Part you gine? *looks at clock* It’s minutes tuh 12:00am! As you waan be out pun de streets at dese kinda hours you better turn you key at you own place!”

9. Be selfish

“Yes I eat de chocolate yuh had in de fridge! You bring one ting in hey and waan get on? I don’t ask why you using my current, or wah-er or groceries!” *guiltily hushes and walks away*

10. Talk all night on the phone

*Parent picks up the second phone and starts to dial, then listens* “I waan use my phone!”

Can you think of anything else that would get you in trouble with your parents?

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