Saturday 15 August, 2020

12 minibus struggles for Bajan school children



People nowadays think that paying the new fare of $2 instead of $1.50 is the biggest struggle for students on the minivan, but they have no idea.

Some of these struggles may have been felt by students who caught van back in de day, but some of the millennial students can still relate. Some minivan headaches seem to be timeless.

1. Checking-in

When the driver see you come up de two lil steps, before you even know the van has no more seats, you hearing “Tek off de bags and pass them and guh down in de bus!”

2. Baggage Claim

Get to your stop and now you like a victim in the police station giving a description of the suspect.

Student: My bag is blue, dark blue, with a key ring on it from Florida and it’s big.

Front seat passenger: This one?

Student: That’s black!

Front seat passenger: This is it?

Student: Mine has a key ring with a dolphin that says Florida.

Driver: When you get in? From town? Then it have to be on-neet all uh dem.

Student spots key ring, pulls bag by key ring and disembarks after what felt like an hour and a half.

3. Too many items to declare

Like you’re at the airport, students taking the bus should try to travel light.

Student: That one is my bag.

Driver: That was easy.

Student: Pass my flask please. It there on the dashboard.

Driver: Here you go, ‘fore you have no lunch tomorrow.

Student looks at front seat passenger: Sweet girl doh feel I forget, pass muh armbrella!

Passenger: Oh yeah, yeah.

Student gets off mumbling: She mussy buy dis, got it stash off in de corner like um is hers. Stupse!

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4. Small students

Conductor to passengers in full bus: Let he get up in dat corner behind de driver up by de window. Don’t follow you brudda, you ease through they and come here by dis window here behind me by de door. Gie she lil ease dey, she aint nuttin big.

5. Short students

Get in the bus and sit at the end of the seat just before the back row. An adult gets in and comes and stands next to you and stares down. You swing out your feet so they can pass.

Adult: Wunna children so unreasonable. Try and guh round, you small.

Student: I tell you I waan put my feet pun de wheel and mek myself uncomfortable. You coming in or not? Stupse! You massy paying fuh me.

6. Early riders

Who feels it knows it. See students that take the 5:00 am bus or 6 o’clock bus to school Monday to Friday, just low them when they nod off and rest their heads on you. Don’t let them ‘brek them necks’ on every corner and God forbid the bus goes around a roundabout. In fact if they’re on the end, switch if possible. #Smallactsofkindness

7. “Mummy come and meet me”

After leaving home at 4:45 am or 5:30 am to go school and then catching the 4:00 pm bus home, missing your stop because you dropped sleep is a rite of passage. Now to walk back. Worse is if you had lessons or an extra curricular activity and end up on a 6:00 pm or 7:00 pm bus, wake up, it’s dark out and in a panic you jump up and ring the bell because all of your surroundings look weird. Before, you had no cellphone to pin your location and send it for a pick up, so you had to hope the driver, conductor or another commuter saw you and said, “This ain’t your stop! Rest yuhself, I’ll wake you up!” #Godisgood

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8. Forgetful John or Jane

Always leaving tacklings on the bus.

Student next day: You seeeee uh…?

Driver: Your games bag with shoes and stuff? It in front here!”

Student: Whew! My mudda was pissed. ‘You so careless!’ But I know I had it when I get in de van. Tanks!

9. Irrational sitting passenger

You actually ease in the minibus with your bag on your back and go all the way down in the van, and there is that seated passenger who wants to keep tapping you, “Your bag is in my face”, yet not once does he or she say “You want me hold your bag?” #Sigh

10. Crumpalene

Imagine all Sunday night you stand up and starch and press three pants or three skirts or overalls and five shirts, and whenever you get to school after the van ride you like crab mash. Instead of polyester or Gabardine your clothes could as well be made of crumpalene. #Ughhh

11. Nine-month nightmares

Pregnancy may be a joy but for students who are always picked on when the conductor says, ‘Gie dis pregnant woman a seat please’ it's no walk in the park. All eyes fly to the students on the bus. The student thinks to self: Is it too late to fake sleep now?!

12. Saving grace

It’s a struggle but it’s one of the best parts of being a small student on a minibus. When the people in the back row make themselves small and say, ‘You can fit yuh know!’ It’s not Comfortville but after your long day at school, it feels like heaven and soon after two turns and three potholes, you fit right in.

What other minivan struggles do you students know, or do you adults remember from your school days?

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