16 Things Bajans must refuse quietly
We’re not talking about the collection plate in church when your pockets only have in lint or monies for sno cone after church.
Turning away these foods, drinks and treats listed below, even if you give a reason, could earn you a swift stupse, “you’s uh idiot or wuh”, “what you mean you don’t eat this?” or a “look gimme dat and don’t waste my ting.” If it’s a real, real, true, true Bajan your refusal may even get you a sharp “Man, what de… you telling me though?”
But this is when being an adult is good, because some children also hear, “Don’t waste my ting, try and get dat eat or you gine feel in hay tuh day. See tings tight and you waan chuh way food.”
Tread lightly when turning down the following items:
1. Fishcakes – I don’t eat saltfish
2. Rum – I only drink that if I have no more options
3. Great cake – Umm…I don’t eat this
4. Sweet bread – I would have to pick out the fruits
5. Soursop punch – I don’t like the smell
6. Conkies – Pumpkin?
7. Dumplings – Gimme everything else in soup.
8. Chicken feet – Steppers nasty!
9. Mauby – It just bitter and tastes bad
10. Plus – Can’t tek de smell
11. Sugar cake – I don’t eat coconut
12. Coconut water – I can’t get that drink
13. Avocado – Not de slice uh pear, thanks, it tastes weird.
14. Breadfruit – Not roasted, fried as chips, mashed like cou cou, I don’t want it not even yellah meat ones.
15. Cornmeal cou cou – I don’t like de slime
16. Ackees, dunks, sea grapes, hog plums, fat porks, mango, gooseberries, tamarinds, golden apple, mammy apple or sugar apple – Just walk away before every season you get a shelling
But never fear, when all is said and done, your Barbados passport won’t get taken because you don’t eat or drink everything listed, and for everything you refuse there is usually a Bajan waiting to holler “Look put it pun my plate or gimme it do, I gine mek it hear fuh yuh!”
Worry not – somebody gine nyam it.