Friday 6 December, 2019

20 ways you know school has resumed; vacation done

Students are back into the swing of things.

Students are back into the swing of things.

Between the hustle and bustle of town and malls last weekend and the traffic woes this morning and yesterday morning, it’s hard to miss the fact that the children are back in school.

The community college, Polytechnic, university, nursery, secondary and primary – both public and private students are all back in session by today, Tuesday, September 12, unless the schools’ repairs are incomplete.

However, if by chance you’re uncertain that the 2017-2018 academic year has begun, here are a few reminders that would jog your memory.

1. The neighbourhood is quiet, especially from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm. The pasture will be clear and the courts empty.

2. But expect the opposite early on a morning. The neighbourhood will be noisy from 5:00 am to 9:00 am. “Get on your clothes! Go and brush your teet! Stop kicking rocks ‘fore you bust out dem shoes. You polish you shoes? You got you homework? You brush you hair? WHERE I GINE GET A DOLLAR FROM?!!! Mek haste and go and ketch de bus nuh! Why EVERY-BODY in de neighbourhood does got tuh hear me telling you de same tings every kiss me tail morning child. Lordt!”

3. Noise in the community also resumes at 3:05 pm as children walk home two and three abreast along the roads and drivers have to be tooting horns to pass, while the students recap the day and argue about all that happened at school especially if somebody had gotten lashes.

4. There are no cricket stumps or hopscotch games in the middle of the road at high midday.

5. There are no bicycles and tricycles or scooters dropped at the side of the road will-nilly and carelessly.

6. The ice cream truck passes without stopping seven-trillion times.

7. Traffic on mornings is thick and it moves like molasses up a hill. You’re waking up half an hour to an hour earlier to be early and still end up sitting in traffic.

8. If it’s around 2:30 pm and you’re near a school expect parents and guardians who have no consideration to drop their vehicles all over the place. They park on the sidewalks and force kids to walk in the road. They just park and open doors without checking… ‘Oops’

9. Your timeline and social media feed get flooded with Back-to-School photos of children dressed in uniforms immaculately.

10. Little boys have fades and all-offs; gone are the mohawks and stars. Little girls be having their edges laid or snatched and in some of the cutest, though sometimes tightest cornrow styles. Gone are the beads.

11. Last Friday and Saturday, inside the hair salon and barber shop looked like the Old Woman’s Shoe… Remember that Nursery Rhyme? There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn’t know what to do! Most barber chairs had in poofs and salon chairs had in cushions to help their smallest clients get comfortable.

12. Vans and buses are once again ‘cracked’. People packed in like sardines and the van stand and bus terminals look like federation from 7:00 am to 10:00 am and then again from 3:00 pm to a calm 7:00 pm. If you thought getting a van or bus was hard in the summer… say hello to my little friend – FRUSTRATION!

13. Parents can easily go back to cooking once a day.

14. The light bill gine drop ‘cause the fridge don’t get opened and closed like a revolving door nor do its contents get watched like a TV all day long anymore.

15. Some people will notice ZRs bobbing and weaving through their neighbourhood as a shortcut to cut ahead of traffic morning and evening.

16. If you need a sno-cone you can be guaranteed to find a vendor outside a school gate at 3:00 pm.

17. The line at the ice cream parlor next Sundee may be short and sweet. In fact, the line at the movies druing the week just got cut drastically too.

18. You may now be able to get into a fabric store to get some material to make work clothes without having to brush and shove people aside with your elbows while reminding them, “Dem is toes not potatoes yuh know?”

19. Clothes lines will be full of shirts, skirts, tunics and pants on Saturday mornings from this Saturday.

20. Parents can easily find fully-charged tablets where they left them and browse the Internet comfortably without having to go through the whole summer routine of - “Where is my tablet? Where is de charger? I want it now please. No, not after you finish that level. How you mean give you a second because Peppa Pig has seven minutes and 36 seconds left in this episode? Child, you have me so excellent! I hope you remember no tablet when school starts.”

What tells you most clearly that school is back in session?

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