Thursday 26 November, 2020

Adulthood MIMS - 10 items that should be FREE for all adults!

Garbage bags (FILE)

Garbage bags (FILE)

Welcome to Adulthood MIMS!

It's where we wonder weekly about things adults should know or expect but were not told. Here is where we yell "Make It Make Sense! (MIMS)"

Saving money as an adult is an extreme sport.

Those adults who have a Chequings and a Savings and they both have money all month-long are God's favourites.

I said what I said.

Dear children, enjoy childhood. In a few years you won't be carelessly wasting 13 squares of toilet paper nor plugging your tablet directly into a socket to charge during a lightning storm. 

Oh how adulting dents your pocket and makes your head hurt, like how are these 10 items NOT FREE?!

1. Garbage bags

Remember when you doubled up your grocery bags at the supermarket just to have plenty garbage bags at home piled up?

Pollution is bad yes, but why not even the biodegradable bags are free anymore? So, if you're not walking around with an empty reusable bag in your bag or driving with one in your trunk, you are not an almost-adult yet... And until you remember to go in the store with the bag, you are not fit to talk about this adult life... PERDIODT

Let's not talk about spending money on big black or blue or white garbage bags just to put cut grass or leaves in for the garbage people. Let's not discuss how they are making us put money into the garbage LITERALLY!

2. Cutlery 

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How you mean the house does not come with knives, forks and spoons in the kitchen drawer?

And where do forks and teaspoons go? I hear natural hair women complaining about disappearing bobby pins and hair pins, but when is the Anonymous Meeting for people who lose cutlery? Do they jump in the garbage or hide in takeaway containers when you're tossing them out? We want to know for real real. (When a Bajan says it twice, we mean it fuh trute trute.)

3. Containers

Buying things to put things in. This is a certain level of adulthood that we could all do without.

Imagine having to spend $40 on a plastic container to store random items or clothes in. Furthermore, spending money to buy a glass bottle or a BPA-free safe number reusable plastic water bottle to fill with water and keep in the fridge. No more reusing the bottle from the juice as the water bottle because technically that's not made of good healthy multiuse plastic. What is this?!

4. Watch batteries

How you mean you go die? And the kicker is no one is offering to buy you a new watch instead of fixing the battery. Oh how we miss the days when watches cost $10 so you could just switch it up and keep it moving.

5. Light bulbs

Flicks switch. The light comes on. But this ain't bright enough or this too yellow. Do children even see light? I'm asking this for real. Because how is light and the quality of light only an issue now as an adult.

6. Surge protectors

Not my expensive TV, phone, tablet or computer plugging straight into the socket knowing full well that the electricity does "guh off" as it feel. No please. P.S. Buy a surge protector not a power strip. You need protection not just more outlets.

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7. Fire extinguisher

Welllllllll.... this should come with every stove. That's all we're saying. Get yours. Put it on your Christmas list while shopping for the baking ingredients.

8. Dica

Heart burn and acid reflux work with Father Time, and he pays them Over Time to pop up and check in on patients in the wee hours of the morning. But DICA! *cue super hero music like Captain Planet* 

9. Baking Soda

The fridge does not have a smell despite all that it holds. How you ask? That's not God. That's not by design. That's that box of baking soda opened to absorb odors and it does not come with the fridge. Put it on the grocery list. 

10. Condoms

There was a time when these were free everywhere. Virgins had to be yelling "No thanks!" The old women yelling "Try and tek dem!" Guys saying "Thanks grans". Grans giving winks in reply. Mothers saying: "She don't need"; Aunty dropping few in sweet girl's bag discreetly.

In days gone by condoms were flowing in the streets literally and figuratively tossed from trucks during cavalcades and motorcades. There were even free in events. COVID-19 really hit some people's pockets in this area when it cancelled Crop Over. This form of contraceptive can cost from $5 to $15 or more for three. Those things add right up!

If you could make one these free forever, which would it be?

Next up... Adulthood MIMS - The Things they did not tell you you would have to buy EVERY MONTH like soap, toilet paper etc.

Catch it next week!

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