Thursday 5 December, 2019

Bajan parents in the vacation last days

A headache a day feels like the order in these last few weeks.

A headache a day feels like the order in these last few weeks.

Parents and guardians in Barbados don’t realize how much they love to see their children in their uniforms going off to school for six straight hours Monday to Friday, until it’s vacation time.

The children in nursery, primary and secondary school got eight weeks leave and with two weeks or so left, parents are counting down the days, hours and minutes.

Some parents are at their wit’s end now with camps closing and loved ones turning down requests to ‘Hold he for half hour fuh muh’ cause they know your 30 minutes is nothing short of two days now.

Here are 16 things you may hear a parent yelling as you walk by a Bajan house between now and when school restarts in September.

1. It ain’t time fuh school to start back yet?

2. I aint know how teachers does do this day in and day out!

3. ‘You aint want to go outside and run bout.’ By the last days, gone are the days of worrying about cars in the streets and tumbles and falls. Some guardians just want the kids out of sight, out of mind.

4. ‘Go and turn on de TV and watch something or get de tablet.’ Parents love technology by the last days. Everything comes full circle.

5. ‘Mummy I want to go to de sea!’ Mother: You aint tired uh de beach?

6. Child opens the refrigerator door for the millionth time. Granny: You think something gine grow in dey?

7. Aunt looks at nephew who has gained some weight since last week. Aunt: I hope them new school uniforms can fit you, ‘cause you getting big like a bus! You don't stop eat? You always stuffing you face ting!

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8. Grandfather looks up at grandson: Wuh you shoot up in de air like a gaulin.

9. Big sister: I sick and tired uh de noise in muh head. Hush nuh!

10. Mother: Mummy, mummy, mummy, don’t call my name again! Child: But you ain’t name mummy. Mother: Fix it Jesus. Don’t say mummy again for the next hour. *Silence followed by a scream AHHHHHHHHHHHHH* Mother: Do NOT holler for mummy!

11. Father: You bedtime aint gone? Child: I don’t have school tomorrow! Father: I think it is time you get back into going to bed at your bedtime. Practice makes perfect.

12. Mother: Pack your bag. You waan go by you farr or you grandmudda? I can’t tek dis hay today soul.

13. *Ahhh choo* Mother: No no. Don’t come getting sick now you ready to guh back into school.

14. Grandmother: Stop running cause you ain’t brekking nuh bones now. You would wear back a cast. School fuh you bright and early as dem gates open.

15. Mother: Child you mekking me talk too much

16. Every adult in the house, the community and the country who deals with a school-aged child: What duh does give wunna vacation for?

Some parents are feverishly looking around for a camp for these last few weeks just to avoid a stint in HMP Dodds and keep their criminal records free of charges.

What are your neighbours yelling?

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