Brandi is ready for her rainbow baby: 10 lessons from an angel mother
Mother's Day may conjure up great memories and laughs for many women, but for others, it can be bittersweet.
However, angel mom Brandi is bravely holding on tightly to the sweet and less of the bitter.
In her late twenties, Brandi has been pregnant seven times, twice with twins, but she's still waiting for the day when she'll hold her healthy bundle of joy in her arms.
Chatting with Loop about this journey which though painful has brought her immense personal growth, Brandi said:
"Over the years, Mother's Day has personally become a bit harder especially if I was at church. Whenever the leader asked all mothers to stand and they are given little gift bags or roses, my heart sinks deeply and it almost feels like you’re being singled out . . . then the guilt and hurt follow. It’s not that I don’t want to celebrate the day, because hey, let’s face it, any woman who has given birth is amazing and deserves to be acknowledged, it is just that selfish streak in me that goes, 'But I wanted to celebrate this day with my baby and all the other mums too!'”
Despite this, Brandi is not throwing her hands up in the air in despair.
She has weathered the storms, is separated and sailing through a divorce, and yet as she navigates this thing we call life she still sees a light at the end of the tunnel, the rainbow after the rain.
"I still have hope though, I know that I can and will be a great mom sometime in the 'near' future.
"The way I see it now, I was being spared but prepared. God has better in-store and the day that I get to hold my newborn in my hands, the appreciation and love I will have are going to be surreal. However, in the meantime I am but a mere vessel being used to help others who walk this similar and painful path. We definitely need to love on and support each other more."
So on that note, Loop Community got Brandi to share some of the lessons she has learnt over the years to help someone else possibly.
5 THINGS I LEARNT ABOUT PREGNANCY
• Pregnancy Brain is so real that it’s scary...you literally have a million “brain farts” throughout the day trying to remember anything.
• Your body changes, sometimes drastically in ways you rather not, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
• Your heightened sense of smell makes you feel like you have a bionic nose.
• As beautiful as the experience is, it literally is a life or death situation. Obviously we are believing for the best, but it is like having one foot in [the grave] and the other out.
• There is a plethora of insurmountable emotions that takes precedence when you think about having a tiny human growing inside of you. The love you feel towards this little person you haven’t met yet is simply indescribable.
5 THINGS I LEARNT ABOUT MISCARRIAGES
• You feel like you are the only one experiencing this heartache but you are in for a huge awakening when you realize that there are so many other women going through it too. It is more common than we think but it’s so “hush-hush”.
• It goes beyond the physical. Miscarriages take a toll on us emotionally and mentally and the worst part about it is there is nothing we could have done differently to prevent it.
• Ensure that the pregnancy tissue passes from your uterus because things can “stick around” much longer than you’d think. You can either take medication or get a D&C (dilation & curettage). If you are into a more holistic approach then I highly recommend yoni steaming and or womb detox pearls but please use your discretion, follow the guidelines and do your research.
• Miscarriages can occur with no warning signs, pain or bleeding sometimes. Can you imagine going to get an ultrasound or check-up only to discover your baby’s heart isn’t beating any more? Ughhh! The body can be so deceiving at times and those are the ones that make you question your very existence. Formerly known as missed miscarriages, your body doesn’t recognize or acknowledge the loss so your placenta continues to release hormones. Such a bummer!
• As much as I do not want to admit it, they affect your future pregnancies in a way that you never truly feel relaxed or at peace because you are so nervous and worried about possibly losing that baby too, but we still try our best to bask in nothing but positivity and prayer.
Happy Mother's Day to all angel moms, and we pray you have your rainbow babies someday!
Angel mom - A woman whose child has died
Rainbow baby - The first child birthed after a miscarriage or abortion
Sunshine baby - The baby which was born before a miscarriage