Sunday 8 December, 2019

Cool it! 5 ways fans got Bajan children in trouble

This meant hours of fun for some 80s kids.

This meant hours of fun for some 80s kids.

On hot days, a fan is a blessing, but every Barbadian child who got a tongue-lashing or 'hot licks' because of a fan knows that sometimes a fan can be a curse as well.

What is a fan?

An electrical or hand-held device used to cool a person, thing or room. (Loop’s basic definition for the purposes of this article)

Here are five ways, a Bajan could get trouble because of an inanimate object, in this case – the fan.

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1. Don’t put your finger in it

If you refused to listen to the warning and stuck your finger in the fan, it was hell oh hell in the house. Many parents reacted out of fear and anger and while you’re screaming in pain from the fan, you’re getting *whax* I *whax* tell *whax* you *whax* leff *whax* dat *whax* fan *whax* eva *whax* sense *whax, whax whax* "Go and run you finger under water!"

Later that night:

Mother on the phone to her girlfriend from at work: Girl I did so frighten she finger get cut off I didn’t know what to do.

Child thinks to self: YOU! DIDN’T! KNOW! WHAT! TO! DO? YOUUUUUU were frightened?! Stupse.

 

2. "Move from in front de fan"

As hot as you are do not hog the fan. You could end up being the one who gets none of the cool air from the fan. Oh…and on this note, do not think to put a fan on yourself in a room of big people. You better let it oscillate!

 

3. Clean the fan

Mother: Don’t turn on dat fan till you pick it down and clean it!

Son: Ort

Mother: You hear me? I ain’t playing wid you!

Son gets up and goes wash the fan blades and wipes down the fan

Son: You see de fan clean? Happy?

Mother: Wuh I’s tuh be happy fuh? Um is you fan. You’s who din getting nuh air off um!

 

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4. Talking/Singing in the fan

For many 80s babies, this childhood game used to start out as a fun pastime, but if you pushed your mother's buttons, you could go from laughing to crying real fast.

Mother: These two in here singing in de fan

Children: A who-o-o-o-o-o-le new wo-o-o-o-o-o-orld

Mother: Wunna see I pun de phone now?

Children: Dashing, shimmering, spl-e-e-e-end…

Mother starts sharing lashes and cuts lyrics short

Mother goes back to the phone: Hush in here too. You want something to cry for? See I on the phone and keeping a bunch of foolish noise. I hope you know your schoolwork like dem songs fore yuh end up a street rat like Aladdin!

 

5. Mashing up gran’s church fan

Old-time granny’s always had three things in their church bags – a handkerchief, mints and a folding fan.

Everything was great until you hit gran’s fan playing you’re Sailor Moon or Chung Lee. Then it was “Keep quiet and behave yuhself fuh me! I ain’t you mudda!”

How did a fan get you in trouble or was it all cool in your household growing up?

 

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