Friday 16 November, 2018

Dear Politicians, first of all… Bajans got 20 things to say

Barbadians are getting ready for the upcoming elections whenever they are called and they have a few demands for candidates and parliamentary representatives.

Many people are reading news headlines and just saying “Silly season has begun”, while others are planning their list of requests and questions for when the knocking starts throughout the week, not just by the ladies and men with umbrellas on Saturdays.

Nobody was studying two days or Crop Over or calling for steak to be served for school meals, but Bajans had some pressing issues to get the ball rolling whenever de Bees, DEM, Solutions, UPP, New Barbados Kingdom, Citizens Action or whoever turns up!

Here are 20 things Bajans plan to say to politicians

1. First of all, where were you for de past four years? You like money. Scarce!

2. First of all, when you fix de potholes dat lining my gap like speed humps, you can come knock pun dis door again? I don't find them to be a transitory inconvenience.

3. First of all, when you put a bus stop by dat shop dey at de top uh dis gap and not in de bush in de middle of nowhere up de road da aint got a street light and got me running back at night, den we can talk.

4. First of all, where my water? De last time I see water flowing through my pipes was when I see you. See statement no. 1.

5. First of all, get me the scheduled hour bus running on the hour. I was waiting in the Fairchild terminal for four hours for one Sugar Hill bus last week, and I'm pregnant.

6. First of all, eff you could make sure that I could carr work my child if a morning I wake up and de guvmunt decide schools closed but workers gotta guh tru flood waters still… Tell me dat is de fust law you gine pass and I would mail in you vote in advance like I in Uh-murr-ca!

7. First of all, you try crossing at de traffic light wid two young children every morning and it pun flashing red. I gots to juck myself in oncoming traffic, begging people to stop to take my children to school safely.

8. First of all, late shift does finish at 11:00 pm, and a bus ride from West Coast to Bridgetown is an hour, so I can’t mek it in time for no 12 o'clock last bus from Town to home. So when you get a last bus at 1:00 am or 1:30 am, come check me.

9. First of all, nursery fees gone from $75 to $85 and I don’t work nowhere, so wuh gine happen?

10. First of all, I want a job!

11. First of all, I had to withdraw from UWI three times already ‘cause the government grant didn't come in time, even though I qualified.

12. First of all, you giving away experience?  I need experience ‘cause every employer want experience.

13. First of all, don’t knock suh hard and den yuh hand come tru. De wood ants got de lil house in a mess. You got a house fuh me?

14. First of all, people complaining about potholes and repaving and we up here living in marl and dust and ain’t even get our first road yet!

15. First of all, de land tax come in for five times wuh it was last year and tell me ‘bout I got three weeks till de deadline if I want de lil discount. You know I’s a pensioner? You know somebody in at Inland?

16. First of all, I turning 66 and a half on January 2, 2018, God spare muh life. So wuh you could do bout dis 67 is de pension age from January 1?

17. First of all, we nuse to see a garbage truck once a week, now a law like it pass that we ain't know about saying collect garbage only Friday the 13th and this year only had two! You have a sewage plan skippa?

18.First of all, I did want dat mangruh tree trim offa my electric line fuh munts now and de bush pun dat empty lot cross dere is a problem when yuh done. Help me help you.

19. First of all, go at dis man above me and tell he he gots tuh move all dem old cars dat got bout hay tick wid muskeeters. Get dem cars moved and you could get my ‘x’, ‘y’ and ‘z’.

20. First of all, if you can get Election Day tuh be a bank holiduh, you could come in out de blistering sun and have a seat sweet boy. 

Don't fear though politicians and candidates, some people can't wait to see you and hear all you have to say.

One lady told Loop:

"First of all, I very glad yuh come at me ‘cause wunna does get and mind people talking bout yuh is a ‘B’ or ‘D’ and wunna does don't spit pon yuh. But I tank yuh fuh coming ‘cause I like dat coconut tree in de front yard, wherever de GOOD wind blow me I putting muh ‘x’. Don’t mind de foolish people. Tell me wuh you gine do fuh gran eff you wuz tuh win."

But for the rest, any other bones you got to pick with your politicians so they can prepare in advance?