WATCH: Relationships mean hard work

Author and Relationship Coach Denise J. Charles believes that relationships do not work if the persons involved are not willing to put in the work.

“I think like in any other part of the world relationships in Barbados are plagued by some of the same issues… Couples in Barbados need to realize that relationships and marriage mean hard work”

Sitting with Loop to chat and explore the #NakedTruth about relationships, she explained: 

“Sometimes couples can get very busy with life and neglect each other. Work and children are very important but so is creating couple time. People also need to become more open about discussing their challenges and seeking help from qualified counselors before things get out of hand. I find that among younger couples there seems to be less patience. They seem to want instant solutions to problems and when they don’t get them, they seem to more easily throw in the towel.”

Therefore giving couples tips to help strengthen their bonds and grow old together, Charles is advising persons to take certain steps regardless of what stage their relationship is at presently.

Single and dating:

1.     Get to know and love yourself first before embarking on a relationship

2.     Deal with any personal issues surrounding your upbringing, family of previous failed relationships; a healed heart is one ready for love

3.     See yourself as complete or whole even when single; you’re not a half awaiting a better half

4.     Do things to develop yourself so that a relationship does not become the be all and end all of your life’s goals

5.     Become the type of partner that you long to have in your life

New relationships:

1.     Take your time really getting to know your new love interest

2.     Spend time with your love interest in a variety of settings; not just when he/she is dressed to the nines for a date

3.     Be cautious about exposing your past before there is a solid commitment

4.     Do not allow a new relationship to be defined by sex; it can bring premature connection and dependency

5.     Monitor how your partner/prospective partner relates to his/her parents, siblings and family on the whole; it will speak a lot about their core values

Married:

1.     Build your intimacy through regular communication about any and everything

2.     Make your sex life a priority

3.     Guard your marriage against intrusion by creating appropriate boundaries with members of the opposite sex

4.     Have a date night where you get to dress up and go out together

5.     Spend quality time both praying and playing together

Denise J Charles who has been married for 32 years, holds a Masters in Education, is a Doctoral Candidate: Educational Leadership and is trained as a counselor. She is also the host of a radio show called ‘Love Talk’.

When Loop took to the streets of Bridgetown to see what Bajans think, it turns out that many people agree with Charles and thinks that the coach is right about what work they need to put it to make their relationship successful.

 

What work do you think you need to put in to your relationship? (Keep it G-rated in the comments)

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